Updates

I know it’s been a little bit. We have been doing a lot with the move and I haven’t had time (or a chance, with Husband on vacation!!) to update here.

Things have been going moderately well. Not wonderful, but not horrible either. He did have a relapse. The person who was supposed to be taking the old house backed out on us at the very last minute (as in, the day of) We were at the old house getting bits and pieces of stuff that was left over. As I was going out the door to make another run of stuff to the new house, I asked him if he was going to be ok. And then my specific words were “you aren’t going to go out and get something to drink, are you?” He said no. And I walked out the door.

I come back after unloading everything to find a beer sitting on the counter. A 24 oz. I confronted him about and he said he had to go the store to get cigarettes and since he was there….. it was empty, and I was only gone for about 30 minutes so he must have chugged it to drink it before I got back.

Not so. Apparently Karma bit him in the ass. The beer he had chosen apparently had a small hole in the bottom. Small enough to keep everything in, since air pressure kept the contents inside. But big enough to leak horribly when he opened it. About half of it ended up on the ground when he opened it! Ha! Can’t say that he didn’t deserve it.

I talked to him about how he needs to learn to deal with stress in a productive manner. Drinking doesn’t solve the problem, it only makes him not think about it for a little bit. The problem is still there when the beer goes away. We had lunch plans and I decided that they were still on. I wasn’t calling them off because he had to drink. We ended up fighting in the car and for the first half of lunch, quietly using hushed voices at the table.

The second half of lunch he apologized for getting upset and I apologized for nagging. He told me not to ever apologize for that, and that I had every reason to nag him and to be upset. He was teary eyed at the table. He gave a genuine apology, not the “I’m sorry I’m an asshole” sort that I usually get when he’s been drinking.

Speaking of moving, I found lots of old beer bottles and vodka bottles hidden in the weirdest places. Most of them, he claims that he doesn’t even remember hiding them and it was a long time ago. I sort of believe him, because some of them still had alcohol inside them. If he remembered them, he would have drank them. I DID notice, however, that the vodka bottles that I dumped out and refilled with water and replaced in easy to find places were missing. He never has said anything to me about those.

I know he’s trying. And I know it’s hard for him. When the cravings get too bad he uses excuses such as “stress” to condone his drinking. There haven’t been as many relapses as I thought there would be, and honestly, I didn’t think he would make it a week without drinking, let alone a month. I just wish that he would stay with it, even when it gets hard, even when it’s stressful.